The sound of Christmas carols floats from the kitchen as younger siblings tear decorative paper from the gifts beneath the tree. The bulb lights shining from your neighbors’ houses peek around the corner of your window. It’s finally Christmas Day: the day to spend with family, to open presents, to go to church.
But there is one slight hiccup this year. You have school, and instead of rushing downstairs to open those carefully wrapped presents, you throw your books into your backpack, shout a hurried “Merry Christmas” to your family and rush out the door to get to school in time for your first period test.
As unrealistic as this sounds, for many students who celebrate holidays that fall on a school day, it is their reality. Although it is certainly impossible to allot a day off for each and every holiday, our point is not to propose a complete alteration of our calendar. Rather, we would like to bring attention and understanding to the fact that many of our students must miss out on family traditions and holiday festivities due to school commitments.
So, what does it look like to have a significant holiday fall on a class day? Typically, it means choosing between catching up on school or being with family, or whether to fast knowing you have a musical dress rehearsal after school. It means scrambling to finish that last review problem before the test tomorrow while your family has already started lighting the candles or missing your game because you are exhausted from not eating all day.
There must be a way to help the students who constantly feel as though they must choose between school and their religion. And the first step is understanding.
If you have a friend who celebrates a holiday that you have not heard about, ask them what this special day entails and their favorite memories from it. It’s a little gesture, but significant. It often feels as though no one sees how difficult it is to show up to school knowing we would be missing out on a once-a-year family occasion.
A day with an important exam might be even tougher for someone who had to beg her parents to skip services just this once, so she doesn’t fall behind. We need to be cognizant of our peers’ religious commitments and foster empathy during times when they struggle to maintain focus at school.
Sometimes our friends are fasting, and it just so happens to be the day of the grade-wide pizza party. In this complicated situation where it feels as though you cannot say anything to make the situation right, just acknowledging the complexity and struggle they must be facing can go a long way. Just knowing that someone understands why you seem a bit testier today than usual can make the weight on one’s shoulders feel that much lighter.
We must also consider the decision-making and battles fought against oneself in choosing to take the day off to be with family or go to school. The choice is never easy because you know that you will be missing something important regardless of the route you choose. You will get questions about missing school, and you will get questions about going to school. The questions often come from family and from peers, who may not see the pain of leaving family behind coupled with the stress that arises in having to make up schoolwork.
It can be isolating to feel as though nobody understands or sees the choices you must make or how zoning out in class might just be imagining what your family is doing without you.
Another crucial step in promoting acceptance and inclusion is the opportunity for students to share and learn about festivals and holidays during the school year. For example, for Diwali, there are often information tables about the holiday and its typical traditions. For Passover, there is often matzah available in the dining hall to accommodate for Jewish students observing Passover and to provide exposure to a new element of Judaism to students.
Thus, it is our job to try to reschedule that pizza party so we don’t have to exclude our friend, or to ask if it would be possible to record the lesson for that day. In trying times when our peers feel lonely and are grappling with the heavy question of religion versus school, just being aware and trying to ease the burden they are shouldering truly makes a deeper impact than one would imagine.
Even though it is not feasible to create a calendar in which days off fall on every day with a holiday, we as students, friends and teachers can do our part to check in with these peers to be empathetic and understanding during these difficult moments.
Some may not get to enjoy the picture-perfect Christmas Day experience, but with a bit of effort and care, we can bring a bit of that light and holiday spirit to school.
