The Hockapocalypse

Dec. 21 will not be the first time in the memory of many students and faculty that the world is supposed to have ended. Many believed that the switch from 1999 to 2000 would lead to a similar doomsday.

In the phenomenon nicknamed “Y2K,” scientists speculated that computers would be unable to process the year 2000, would go back to 1900, then self-destruct completely, leading to the eventual end of our world due to our dependency on technology.

I must say, I like the idea of dying from lack of Google more than that of a zombie eating out my brain. But if it must happen, I don’t plan on wasting my time.

I have a hazy memory of my mother dropping me at school in December of 1999.

A man in a bright orange jumpsuit was on the median in the road holding a sign that said, “Prepare for the end.” My mom never believed in the Y2K prophecy so she did not really explain the full story to me.

Yet I wondered why he was on the street holding a sign and not enjoying his final days if he thought this was true.

The origin of the Dec. 21 doomsday, however, is a Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar. The date is the end-date of the 5,125-year-long cycle. Multiple Mayan scholars repel the idea of the impending doom. Although the cycle ends on that date, NASA scientists claim that the cycle simply begins all over again.

An overwhelming amount of television shows, movies and songs fill our culture with the upcoming doom of all. J.J. Abram’s television show, Revolution, deals with a post-apocalyptic world, and the hit show The Walking Dead deals with the ever-popular zombie craze. What I like about these shows is that the main characters do not sit and sulk about the mass death of the world. They fight back and do not let something as inconsequential as no more electricity or cinematically nightmarish zombies ruin their day.

The John Cusack movie, cleverly named 2012, specifically references the December deadline. And my eighth-grade iPod has the Matchbox 20 song ‘How Far We’ve Come’ that discusses the end of the world and the effects it will have on our humanity.

Furthermore, the end of the world has become the punch line of many jokes.

Why worry about the JRP? It’s due in January, so zombies will probably have overrun the school by then anyway.

On the bright side, Hockaday girls would not have to worry about finding a winter formal date or the perfect dress. And I think the crumbling earth is a perfect reason for colleges to extend their application deadlines.

Overall, the end of the world may indeed work to our advantage. We can joke about it and use all of the media we want to fantasize about it, but in the end I think all of this sends out a fairly uniform message. It could be 1,000,000 years from now or weeks away, but how would you want to spend your final days?

I personally am not planning on the world ending in December. Even if I did, however, I hope that I would not be spending my last breath in an orange jumpsuit holding a sign.

We are constantly looking for the opportunity to reinvent ourselves or become a better person, and there is no greater motivator than our impending doom. If these are our final days, maybe fix a friendship, exercise more, spend time with friends and family or tell someone you care about them.

Then, if the world does not end, it can mark the end of the old you and the beginning of an improved you. At Hockaday, we are crazy about metaphors, so we might as well make the end of the world one too.