No. 99 is No. 1

I’ve got 99 problems but being in the 99th graduating class ain’t one.

Just kidding about the former part of the statement; second semester seniors don’t have problems. But let’s be totally honest: everyone is obsessed with 99, even little kids. You can’t look at me straight and tell me you never annoyed the heck out of your parents by insisting on singing all 99 rounds of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” at some point during your childhood.

I can still hear my squeaky, six-year-old voice wailing it all the way to Southwest Texas. But even if you’re pretending right now that you weren’t a super annoying six-year-old, you can’t deny that at least half the stuff you buy has a price tag ending in 99 cents.

In case you are wondering why things are priced that way, it isn’t because of psychological pricing and strategic marketing. It’s because literally everyone loves to see little 99’s everywhere they go.

I can think of a whole host of reasons I’m pumped about being part of the 99th graduating class, and hopefully at least a few of them will hit the spot with you and make you realize you never really wanted to be part of the centennial class in the first place.

For any juniors reading this, 100 is a wonderful number and you are wonderful and wonderful things are meant to be together.

Here are 99 (divided by 11) reasons I’d rather be number 99:

1. Who cares if 100 is the number of years in a century? Ninety-nine is a palindrome, the atomic number of Einsteinium and the name of a popular Swedish online community for Mac, iPod and iPhone users.

2. Rumor has it the administration has planned 100 mandatory assemblies and events to celebrate the 100th year of the school. I, for one, can’t imagine an even more jam-packed schedule thrown into the mix with college apps and all the other joys of fall senior year. (Note: while this is just a rumor, there is always some truth in every rumor.)

3. No one ever said we had to be the centennial class to have the centennial prom. The Paris 1913 Centennial Soiree was one for the books. (Thanks moms!)

4. The general consensus on expectations for the 99th commencement range from very average to very very average. So while you’re half lip-syncing, half awkwardly-giggling “All Things Bright and Beautiful” in the back row (because you’re among the 80 percent of people who can’t hit 80 percent of the notes), just think to yourself, this is way better than I thought it would be.

5. Ninety-nine cats were found in the home of a hoarder in upstate New York.

6. On an unrelated and more serious note, our commencement will be all about celebrating the 14 years in which the Class of 2013 roamed the halls of Hockaday. Forget the talk of Hockaday’s centennial birthday bash. This ceremony’s going to be all about the 116 most beautiful, multi-talented women to ever set foot on 11600 Welch Road.

7. A guy named Greg Rutter put up a list of “99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced on the Internet Unless You’re a Loser or Old or Something.” If you aren’t a loser or old or something, you should check it out at youshouldhaveseenthis.com. It’s hilarious.

8.Ninety-nine-cent stores still exist (inflation hasn’t ruined all good things.) Just kidding they don’t exist.

9. If we weren’t the 99th graduating class, we wouldn’t be heading off to college next year. And while we’ve loved (nearly) every minute of being at Hockaday, I think it’s safe to say we’re ready to set off on our next great adventure. Can I get one last Senioritas X aye-aye-aye?

-Hailey