Help From Heidi: HOCO or NOCO


Dear Heidi,

All of my friends are getting asked to homecoming and even though I don’t care about it that much, I can’t help but feel sad about not getting asked. Advice?


Feeling Left Out


Dear Feeling Left Out,

I definitely understand where you are coming from. Homecoming season has always been infamous for being surrounded by a lot of hype and drama. Everyone is gossiping in the halls about who’s going with who, who had the cutest ask and where they are going to find that perfect dress.

But in all this craziness, often people forget that not everyone gets to go to homecoming, which leads to people feeling left out. If your friends are excluding you from the conversation, talk to them. Ask them nicely if you guys could talk about something else. If they are truly your friends, they will respect your feelings and change the subject.

If you still feel down or just aren’t someone who enjoys dances, get together with a group of friends who also aren’t going to homecoming and have a Noco party that Saturday!

People get super creative with this and often say they find Noco more fun than the actual dance. Plan something that you will look forward to. Go out or treat yourself to a night in. Do what makes you happy; there are no limits.

Sophomore year, I didn’t get asked to the homecoming that all my friends were going to. Even though I got to go to a different one, I still felt left out, especially during the week leading up to the dance.

All that my friends could talk about were their dates, their dresses, their dinner reservations, their limos and the adorable photoshoots they were going to have. While I was happy for them and glad that I at least got to go to one homecoming, it just didn’t feel the same.

But rather than sulking, I decided to make the most of that night. I got dressed up and went out to dinner and a movie with one of my friends who also didn’t get asked. And in all honesty, it was a really fun night.

We all tend to get caught up in the “glamor” that seems to surround homecoming. But in reality, we won’t care in five years whether or not we got to go to that one St. Mark’s, Cistercian or Jesuit homecoming during our sophomore year of high school.

I know these next few weeks are going to be hard, as the halls fill with mindless chatter with homecoming fast approaching. But, just do your best to tune it out, for it will all be over soon enough. Remember, Winter Formal is only a few months away 🙂


Best wishes,