Questions for Kate: How to Handle Hoco

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As St. Mark’s Homecoming quickly approaches, it can be hard to discern how to handle homecoming and the unique problems it presents. Here’s my advice on how to have the best homecoming experience possible.

All my friends told me that I would have a hoco date before them, but now I’m the only one without one and I’m feeling left out. And yes, homecoming isn’t the biggest deal, but I want to go and I’m the only one not going. What do I do?

What you are feeling is completely valid and acceptable. In fact, I have felt the exact same way many times throughout high school. I did not go to homecoming until my junior year, so I have lots of experience in this department. While homecoming doesn’t mean everything, it still hurts a lot when you look on Instagram the day after and see all of your friends posting about what a great time they had. 

If you still want to go and haven’t been asked, I would recommend asking friends if any of their dates still need someone to go with. I think it is important to remember, however, that not getting asked to homecoming says nothing about you or makes you any less of yourself. Your attendance at homecoming does not define you.

If you do not end up attending the dance, I recommend planning an activity on both Friday and Saturday of homecoming weekend. Perhaps do a spa day at home with your family or go bowling with any friends not going to homecoming or attending a different school. Go to a sports game or see a movie. The world is your oyster! 

Even with these activities, you might still feel sad or lonely, which is completely normal. The most important thing to know about this situation is that you will survive and become a stronger person because of it. Despite the situation’s perceived bleakness at the moment, this situation will only help you grow and improve.

I got asked to SM Hoco a couple of weeks ago and I haven’t really talked to my date because we’re not really friends. He hasn’t told me what we are doing or given me any details. My mom won’t let me get a dress or shoes since he hasn’t told me anything yet. What should I do?

That seems like quite a predicament. I definitely think that you need to reach out to your date. It sounds like your homecoming purchases hinge on your being able to know the plan, so the only way to get the items you need is to reach out to him to discover the logistics.

Even if it might be awkward or embarrassing, you need to do it; it is the only way to get what you want. He is probably feeling the exact same thing about texting you, which is why he hasn’t reached out to you first. I think that taking initiative in this situation will resolve your logistical problems and allow you to convince your mom to buy your dress and shoes.

Your assertiveness in this situation will also help to improve that skill, which will greatly benefit you in the future. Whenever you want to accomplish something, you will now know how to take initiative and accomplish your goals. Nothing will improve if you don’t ask.

I think your problem will be solved if you reach out to him this weekend. I hope it all works out and you have a great time at homecoming.


By Kate Woodhouse

Photo provided by Emily Fuller

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Kate Woodhouse

Kate loves community service, softball and rom-coms. She is usually found watching TV or playing with her two dogs, a golden-doodle named Max and a golden retriever named Kash.

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